So last night I had a weird dream.

I was an actress...which for those of you who know me, is the farthest from the truth.  And I had to do a scene that required me being physically close with my ex boyfriend (who is now married) and it was just weird.  And so I whispered to one of the other actresses that it was awkward because he's my ex and now he's married, and he responds, "you know I can hear you. And its not awkward."

How is being physically close with an ex that is now married NOT awkward? Just sayin.

Then another part of the dream, or maybe another dream entirely:

I'm at a neighbors house for a party/get together or something that we are having catered.  And this red SUV pulls up, and its someone I work with, and apparently he does catering stuff on the side. So that was kind of awkward.  So he's setting up outside, and a guy friend and I are watching TV on the couch inside, and he starts cuddling with me, which is kind of odd.  So I notice my work friend watching from outside, so I pull away, realizing the awkwardness.  So I go outside to explain to him, and he's gone. 

I mean, what the heck does that mean?

So I know sometimes I dream about things that I've thought about/seen during the day, so I tried to figure out where all these dreams came from.  I guess I dreamed about my ex because everytime I see a white truck, I think of him.  And I was watching a romantic movie last night and since he's the last guy I've kissed, I guess I thought about him.  I don't know why I dreamed about my guy friend.  I dreamed about the guy from work cause I think he's cute haha. 

I wish I could control my dreams.  Cause I tend to freak out about them the next day.

The mass quantity of weddings I’ve attended this summer has made me painfully aware of my singleness.  And not simply because I just want to be in a relationship, or I’m feeling lonely.  (Although oftentimes if I’m honest with myself, I’m seeking a man to be some sort of Savior. Why do I do that? I already have a perfect Savior!) But most of all, I desire a relationship that glorifies God. 

Marriage is an earthly symbol of Christ’s marriage to his people, to the church.  God created the institute of marriage so that we could understand how devoted Christ is to His bride…to us.  Since men and women were both made in the image of God, their union completes his vision for a partnership that can work together to glorify Him in this world. 

That being said, there is only so much I can do on my own.  Yes, God has a calling and a purpose for me in my singleness, but I also know He will have a purpose for me in a relationship that is pursuing Him.  I desire to see that completed, but I also recognize His time is more perfect than mine.

I detest being one of those girls that has a list of what they desire in a husband. But I’d like to think mine is short and sweet. I desire a man that loves God more than He loves me.  I want him to pursue God above anything else.  Relationships are meant to glorify God, and if you don’t do that on your own, you won’t do it while you are dating me.  God is my Lord, and He better be yours too. 

The past few days, I’ve gotten the opportunity to catch up with an old friend.  My conversations with him filled me with hope.  I’ve often lamented about the lack of godly men.  He is an incredible person with a passion for his Lord.  He puts God’s calling above his own happiness, and recognizes that God has big things to do through Him, he just has to be patient in His timing.  That is the type of man I desire to marry.

But that being said, am I worthy of such a man? Am I the type of woman that puts Christ first in her life? If I answer honestly, I’m not.  But I have confidence that God is molding me to be ready when my future husband is ready.  I can see that God has a plan for me in a relationship, but for now, I’ll serve Him in my singleness- because that’s His plan for me, and His plan is infinitely better than mine!

First off, let me preface this blog with these words: I'm ok.

So last night, I was heading home from Newport News back to my parents house in Chesapeake.  I left around 7:15, called my mom and told her I'd be home in 30 minutes.  Then I saw the backup at the tunnel.  I called her back and told her not to expect me till later.

So, I"m stuck in traffic, I merge into the one lane they've got us down to, and enter the tunnel.  We pass the road work on the right side. I'm going about 25 mph and the guy in front of me is obnoxiously  riding his brakes.  At least that gave me a clue that people were constantly braking.  So we get to this point where we are accelerating. 

Needless to say, I'm excited.  So I look down and check my speedometer. Woot! 45 mph!

Then I looked up.

And saw the red lights.

I slammed on my brakes, but I knew it was too late. 

I slammed in back of the SUV that had so nicely been riding his brakes for me earlier.  Apparently he slammed on his brakes because of the people in front of him did the same.

My adorable little Civic is no match for an SUV.

My brand new, not even 3 month old Civic.

There was NO damage to his car whatsoever.  My car, however, suffered a half torn off bumper, dent in the center of the hood that caused the hood to bow on the sides, and lights that got jammed up 2 inches. 

Sigh.

I called my insurance this morning, filed a claim, and so I only have to pay a $500 deductible.  They will cover the rest.  So now I have to wait for the parts to get in once I take it to the collision center tomorrow.  It could be a few weeks before it is fixed, and I don't have rental car provisions on my policy.

Other than a backache and some whiplash, there is nothing wrong with me.  I'm very blessed that nothing else happened.

God is good, and He is mighty to save. 

Psalm 25: 20.....
       Guard my life and rescue me;
       let me not be put to shame,
       for I take refuge in You.